'No Fishing'

A bright young lady equipped her boat, with a book, a bottle of wine, and lots of fishing gear. She sailed her boat, a small one, into an area of the lake absent-mindedly where there was a sign saying 'No Fishing'. She let the boat float and started reading a book, sipping her wine in the soft sunshine.

A cop on his Harley Davidson roared by, returned, parked it and started writing an allegation against her. "What for?" enquired she."For fishing in a no fishing area.""But I was not fishing.""You were not, but you are equipped to do so,madam."

She rolled up her stuff and got up."In that case take me to the police station please.""Why?""You raped me.""Whoa- there! I didn't even come near you...for Gossake."
"But you are equipped, aren't you?"

A 18-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her mom said, "It's very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, 'What will be the name of our baby?' That'll scare them off."

So off she went. After a little while at the party, a boy started dancing with her, and little by little he started kissing her and touching her. She asked him, "What will our baby be called?" The boy found some excuse and disappeared.

Some time later, the same thing happened again: a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders... She stopped him and asked about the baby's name, and he ran off.

Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?" He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. "What will our baby be called?" she asked once more. He began to have sex with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again.

After he was done, he took off his "full" condom, gave it a knot, and said, "If he gets out of this one... David Copperfield!

Recently, my white MP,Kok on my door, and very kek ki..Say 'I've worked so hard, so vote for me','Or rubbish won't be cleared, in your vicinty'..

I said 'Dear MP of my GRC','Dun remember u, so please pardon me'..'I only saw you on TV','Dozing off and jiak liao bee'..

Last GE I voted for thee,2% up in GST.. Cut CPF and up utility,Are still very clear in my memory..

5 years later, then you come to me,Fresh from your slumber of ivory..Say that only, you can help me,Escape from a life of poverty..

Just take a drive on CTE,Count the number, of all the gantries..Or squeeze a ride on the MRT,That has not been cleared for ye..

My life since the last GE,Has been downhill though I voted PAP.. If I vote the same for your sleeping spree,I can expect the same misery..

So this time round, I vote for somebody,Who will kachiao you, to productivity..Forms fill wrong, no big deal to me,If there's someone to speak up for ah bee..

So dear MP of GRC,If life no improve, vote u cho simi?

~ Church Bells ~

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had died, Jenny went straight to visit her grandmother.

When she asked how her grandpa had died, her grandma explained, not holding back anything of course,"

He had a heart attack during sex, Sunday morning!" Horrified, Jenny suggested that screwing at the age of 94 was surely asking for trouble!

"Oh no," her grandma replied. "We had sex every Sunday morning in time with the church bells!"

"In with the dings, out with the dongs!"

She paused to wipe away a tear,"If it wasn't for that damn Ice Cream Truck, he'd still be alive!!!"

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Jokes for relaxing

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down in the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?"Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.Yes", he replied.The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angelina Jolie. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked."Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

When man lies.........

The woodcutter fell to his knees and cried, "Oh, forgive me, Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Angelina Jolie, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, And I love my wife such that I don't want her to share me with anyone, So THAT'S why I said yes to Angelina Jolie."

The moral of this story is; whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others...

my bday celebrations.. Part 2

of cos nw is w gf liao la who else rite hehe

thurs nite she brought me 2 balcony @ heeren for some finger food n cutting of cake.
aft ta went cosy bay for some "fireworks" sessions haha

fri morni we went JB for some shopping n some eating. wasnt a nice trip as we quarrelled a bit on hw boring e place is n end up nv eat anything @ e Manhatten fish mkt wasted..

dinner we went Hog's breath @ CHIMES rather nice place quite windy ta nite thou rained a bit during our stay there.

well ta's all abt it rather boring rite my bday "celebrations" hai but wat 2 do?

anyway i muz still thank my gf 4 doing such a rather-wonderful job in planning my bday.

THANK YOU BAOBEI!!!

my bday celebrations.. Part 1

aft OT paper mit up w shihan mao n heng kia 4 makan @ riverside indonesian restuarant @ riverside pt.

overall value 4 $$. food is gd. v gd rather. sure is filling for all 4 guys.

aft ta had some ice cream @ this hokaiddo ice cream outlet ba something la. not bad oso thou a bit ex e $ of it.

my present fr them was a NETS giftcard.

THANK YOU GUYS!!

(Full Version with Lyrics) Would You Be There: Redwan Ali

One of the most popular song, from the show Mars vs Venus 幸福双人床, channel 8.

Lyrics:
If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me?
And touch my lips with tender loving care?
Would you die for me?
Would you run with me?
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

If I am away, would you still think of me?
And wish that you could hold me now?
Would you die for me?
Would you run with me, all the way?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be there to kiss my pain away?
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be there to kiss my pain away?

Would you be there..
for me?

exam overview

alrite nw ta my exams ended as of last wed so let's do a review on e papers i took.

1st- mktg 9/5/07
not v gd. had mental block. cant rmm subpts hai sian. juz hope can pass can liao. disappointed w myself oso cos its 1 of e sub i spent a lot of time in but yet still cant rmm some pts hai it goes 2 show hw "well" prepared i am rite haha.

2nd- OT 15/5/07
still alrite i tink but i onli do 3 qns onli le. how? jialat liao. last qns fr sec D nv do cos wat i studied did not come out so cant do bo pian.. but overall 4 e other 3 qns hope i do alrite so juz 2 pass it is gd enuf 4 me reali haha.

3rd- CF 25/5/07
hmm 2nd time taking it yet i still fear it cos b4 e paper starts i am fearing liao duno y. hai c e paper sian diao so many qns or topic i studied did not came out out or even if they did they'll mixed up into toher qns meaning 1 topic is separated in a few parts but asked in 3 different qns! KNNCCB! SIEI JIAN e examiners! this paper reali scare will buank hai sad :( dun wan 2 fail again 4 e 2nd time running man. juz wan clear it. even let me scrape thru i oso happy hai so let's hope 4 e best la. abit disappointed in myself oso cos i got a long time 2 study 4 it yet 4 those calculation qns i didnt reali study them hai reali served me rite rite?

4th MSM 30/5/07
last paper liao so a bit not focus in studying in e few days aft CF. nv-e-less still muz study but not ta bad cos its e 1st sub i studied 4 this exams cos its e last paper so study 1st so nw juz recap on e formulas etc.. in e end disappointment in e paper cos 2 topics i tink they'll come out didnt lo reali sian diao there goes my 1st class 4 MSM paper hai wat 2 do?? lan lan la.. overall i tink still can pass la haha still got time 2 predict n estimate wat marks i can get by using e activity uncertainty completion time formulae haha xue yi zi yong(use as u learn). can pass la mayb can get ard 40-50 hopefully ba. so far its e best paper i tink i did in this exams ba haha sad case.

vidz

last few videos r e MV of e movie 200 pounds beauty. as mentined earlier e show was great! duno nw shd i go buy e dvd or juz d/l online haha save me $. enjoy e vidz.

updates

alrite long time no blog liao except those postings of vidz here. hmm oso duno whr shd i start.

200 POUNDS BEAUTY -OST- STAR [MV]

[MV] 200 Pounds Beauty - Maria

Namie Amuro - CAN YOU CELEBRATE? [weep for joy]

Sin Huey ~ 你给的 MV

gone r e days studying

well exams over liao. time 4 some updates on this blog..

stay tune..